This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice
guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of
whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very
point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on
but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and
give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at
department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how
cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate
moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in
honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest
concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her
privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who
escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take
advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as
buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a
girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who
always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys
who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly
abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent
messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours
painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner.
And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured
her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time
she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant
about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most
repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and
you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped
her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that
time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing
“serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew
nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying
each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just
friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for
her ego, you went anyway...because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys
don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the
nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could
logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus
and what I have learned from talking to friends and at other schools, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative
bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when
presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as
“oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for
me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him
out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet,
they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect
their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that
are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t
figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice
guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one
thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last
forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought
and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted.
The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that
are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the
nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself
described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs
your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party
escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all
the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you
are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my
gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well
deserved vindication is coming.
Sigh. This has been a long week... not sure why...
But anywho, now i get to play OBLIVION!!! *Anand echos oblivion awesomely behind me* That's right, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It's so crazy! You can almost do anything you want in that game. First thing i did: Went pearl diving. PEARL DIVING! I'm not sure if i can find anything less obscure than that. Of course, you get to do the awesome stuff too, but pearl diving! It's insane. You can buy houses, buy furniture for the house, buy horses, Climb Mountains, Explore haunted ships, Save disappeared gamblers from impending doom, Sneak and pickpocket anywhom you choose, Steal valuable goods, explore caves/dungeons/forts/castles/rivers/forests/valleys, ANYTHING!!!
